THEN :
I’d never have wrinkles. I’d not allow flab.
I’d always be well-dressed. I’d never look drab.
I’d always be proper and never ever curse.
I’d always pay cash from my fashionable purse.
I’d not drive a Mercedes, nor would I wear fur.
Environmentalists would applaud me, Yes Sir!
My hubby’d adore me. My kids would behave.
Our lovely home always tidy and our dinner guests rave.
Successful at my job, I’d have the best but never be a snob!
AND NOW:
Now I have wrinkles and hair growing out of my chin.
My sweatsuit is wrinkled, the rear end is thin.
My charge card is maxed. Gone is my cash.
And I curse every day as I drag out the trash.
I’m suing my ex for alimony unpaid
And imagine knocking his block off with a spade.
I suspect my three sons may do more than sip coke
And wonder what they think of me now that I’m broke.
No longer do I need to prove I’m respectable and proud
I have finally discovered the real me …
Vulgar, bitchy and very very loud!