“If you want to know how old a woman is then ask her sister-in-law.”

– Edgar Howe
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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.”

– Jennifer Yanez
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“Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.”

– Golda Meir
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“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.

– Mark Twain
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“I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do.”

– Phyllis Diller
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“Nice to be here? At my age, it’s nice to be anywhere.”

– George Burns
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“First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.”

– Leo Rosenberg
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“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.”

– Robert Brault
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“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.”

– Robert Orden
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“At my age, flowers scare me.”

– George Burns
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“It’s like you trade the virility of the body for the agility of the spirit.”

– Elizabeth Lesser
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“The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.”

– T.S. Elliot
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“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.”

– Ann Landers
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“When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile.”

– GB
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“The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget.”

– Unknown
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“We don’t grow older, we grow riper.”

– Pablo Picasso
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“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.”

– Andy Rooney
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“The older I get, the better I used to be.”

– Lee Trevino
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“I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me — they’re cramming for their final exam.”

– George Carlin
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“Everything slows down with age; except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips.”

– John Wagner
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“Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does.”

– J. Norman Collie

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