1. Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.
2. “In Style” are the clothes that still fit.
3. You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop making you mad.
4. Your people skills are just fine. It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work.
5. The biggest lie you tell yourself is “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”
6. “On time” is when you get there.
7. Even duct tape can’t fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.
8. It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?
9. Lately, you’ve noticed people your age are so much older than you.
10. Growing old should have taken longer.
11. Aging has slowed you down, but it hasn’t shut you up.
12. You still haven’t learned to act your age and hope you never will.
And one more:
“One for the road” means going to the bathroom before you leave the house.